Intelligent and Beautiful Children

I learned a valuable lesson this year that will bring comfort to all you mothers (or expectant mothers) out there who fear their children will be stupid and ugly. (Yes, I know you might say that it doesn't matter--they are your children and you love them regardless of anything, but I have older sisters with kids. I hear all the good "mom crisis" stuff that comes with pregnancy concerning stupid and ugly kids!) As far as the ugly goes, if you have any knowledge of human genetics, it's pretty much guaranteed that unless you and your spouse are ugly, your kids are pretty safe from that specific concern. Besides, no one will ever tell you to your face that your kid is ugly any way, so there's nothing to worry about! (Mom!! You put the ugly baby in my bed!! Poor baby probably doesn't even know he's ugly!)

So now to those of you who don't care if your kids are ugly, but are very concerned about your kids being stupid. (What am I saying . . . everyone is concerned about having ugly kids!) I'm currently taking a university course about Gifted and Talented Education. (I've been roped into getting my Gifted Endorsement . . . apparently you need special training to teach smart kids. Go figure. A college degree isn't good enough for them.) Well, the other day we were discussing how children are becoming more intelligent. Apparently, there are more gifted students who are scoring higher on IQ tests than there used to be. So here's where the comfort of not having stupid kids comes in. The theory is that back in the days before women went to college, the guys would go off to school, get smarter, and come home and marry a "home-town" girl who had a high school education. Their kids would have medium intelligence. (smart guy + mediocre intelligence girl = medium intelligence kids) Well, now women are going to college and getting more intelligent as well. So, you get a smart guy with a smart girl together and end up with smart kids. (smart guy + smart girl = smart kids) But, if you get a super smart guy with a super smart girl, you end up with weird kids. (super smart guy + super smart girl = weird kids) How is this possible? Can you really be TOO smart? Apparently you can. Once you get an IQ of about 130, you're still okay. But if it is any higher than that, you just get weird. So, the moral of the story is that if you want smart, but not weird kids, make sure you don't marry someone who is super smart if you happen to fall into that category yourself. If you are super smart with an IQ close to 130, just make sure to marry someone dumber than yourself and all will be well--the only weirdness your kids have won't be due to faulty genetics! After we discussed the genetic aspect of smart kids, my teacher said, "and of course, the opposite is true as well." She obviously didn't want to say that stupid people have stupid kids! But we all already knew that any way, right? ;-)

As my dad says concerning his students, "You're stupid and ugly, and now that I've met your parents, I know why!" So for the sake of your posterity . . . don't marry the stupid and ugly!

*A disclaimer: My dad doesn't actually say that to his students . . . just to those of us who followed in his footsteps and joined the under-appreciated ranks of educators!