The Proof is in the Pudding

In all my years of teaching (I realize the irony of this statement, but just go with it.) I have come across some very interesting parents. There are the "absentee" parents who are impossible to get a hold of for SEP conferences. There are the hover mothers who are impossible to get rid of after an SEP conference. And there are the "off balance" parents who give you their entire psychiatric evaluation summary the first time you meet them. Generally, the behavior of the parents was clearly related to the behavior of the student in class. However, this year, I was given the opportunity for an enigma. (What's an enigma? What a horrible thing to call me!!) I have a student in my class who is very bright . . . in fact he has been tested for the gifted program in previous years. He turns most of his work in, doesn't cause much trouble in class, and is generally a great kid. However, mom is VERY intimidating and from the first time she walked into my classroom, I knew she was the type to DEMAND perfection . . . from me and from her son.

She would constantly email me after checking her son's grades online to ask me what the problem was. Her emails were very gruff . . . often making it clear she thought I was in the wrong in regards to his grades. I attempted to email her back and smooth things over by explaining the reasons why her son had a few zeros here and there, and how I would in fact give him the test he had missed but we just hadn't had a spare moment yet . . . but alas. She seemed to be determined to be the difficult type who won't listen to reason and find any miniscule reason to complain.

I, on the other hand, grew tired of it and decided to do something drastic. I called her on the phone. I hate talking on the phone . . . especially to parents. But, I realized that the situation wouldn't get better until I talked with her face to face . . . or at least phone to phone. Apparently, her son was telling her one thing and me another so talking with her really helped clear some things up. I explicitly told her that I have high expectations from my students, and that I am a firm believer in making them more responsible for their own work and their own actions . . . in an effort to better prepare them for the harsh reality called junior high and high school teachers. (I grew up with a high school teacher and many stories of victories in the battles of stupidity and ignornace . . . I would have hated to be those kids.) I stood my ground and refused to let her intimate me any more and refused to let her push me into making exceptions for her son just to ensure he had straight A's in class.

Somewhere in the course of that conversation, I apparently earned her respect. She showed up to SEP's this week with a big smile and a box of donuts . . . and casual and cordial conversation when the business of the conference was taken care of. So, the proof really is in the pudding . . . or at least a pudding filled donut.