A New Description of Pain

So as some of you may already know, either by being present on the fateful day I shall be recounting, or by having the pleasure of enjoying my company during the month of July, I had what Drew called "a really big owie." I used to use the "I've never broken a bone" line in playing the game "Two Truths and a Lie" as one of the true things about me. I suppose I can still use it as a truth . . . after all, I didn't exactly break a bone. My elbow and I simply had a little bit of a disconnect with each other.

My excuse is that it seemed like a good idea at the time . . . roller skating, that is. After all, how hard could it be? I had been roller blading just fine . . . but for some unknown reason, I decided to give roller skates a try. Never again. I've learned my lesson. I had been home from Seattle for one whole day. In a way, it was my first day of summer vacation at home. Patti called and asked if I wanted to go to classic skating with her and her kids. Since I wasn't doing anything, I said sure. After all, it sounded kind of fun. And it was . . . until everything went all wrong.

I was rolling along . . . very wobbly, actually, and I briefly had the thought that I should quit while I was ahead. In fact, I had planned on stopping and taking the skates off as soon as I made it back around the rink . . . for the first time. However, about 3/4 of the way around the rink, I suddenly felt my feet go out from under me. Instinctively, I put my hands out to catch myself. I landed on my rear, looked to my right, and thought, "That's not right . . . aw, shoot! Ella just got new skates and I probably just freaked her out!!" THEN the pain set in. Honestly, it didn't occur to me until AFTER I had consciously thought my arm just didn't look right.

After that, all thoughts were almost as disjointed as my arm. For some reason I was having a strange obsession about the fact that I didn't have any shoes on. Patti finally got me into the car, drove as speedily and respectfully as possible, and got me to the hospital in record time. The lady at the check in desk was nice and didn't make me sign myself in . . . seeing as how my dominant right arm was not fully functional. The nurse in radiology was not so nice. I had the pleasure of filling out paper work while in extreme pain with a semi-functional arm. The ER nurse did warn me that the radiology folks weren't very nice. If you are queasy, you might want to skip the pictures . . . I thought they were pretty cool . . . until I wasn't looking at them with 2 doses of morphine in my system (and they were worth EVERY penny!!).

Clearly, my bones are not quite where they should be . . . at least I didn't break through the skin. If there had been blood involved, it could have been messy . . . in more ways than one!

After a loooong wait in the ER, everything was put right again. In this X-ray you can actually see the pattern of the bandage that was wrapped around my arm after the bone was reset.

Fortunately for me, I was knocked out for the procedure. While I don't remember any of it, apparently I was answering questions correctly after I was technically out . . . or so I've been told! My mom told the doctors that I was really out and I was only talking coherently to them because they kept asking me questions and I'm a teacher. Teachers never fully stop thinking!

Despite all the trauma of my personal day of infamy, I have to admit there were some entertaining moments through it all. Of course, they are only entertaining after the fact! First of all, right after I crashed and burned, there was this kid that had to be about 5th grade age. He immediately asked if I needed help getting up, and continued to stay close and offer help. In fact, as I was on my way out of the building in a wheelchair and without my shoes on he made sure to tell me, "I hope you feel better!" If I had not been in excruciating pain I would have told him to tell his mother she did a great job of teaching him manners and she should be proud. Yeah, that would be the teacher in me . . . coming out at the most painful moments.

In talking with Patti after all of this, she said her train of thought was something like this as she saw me go down: "Ow!! Her butt is going to hurt! (pause) AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"

For several days after the accident, every time I saw Drew he would ask me if my elbow was better. When I said not yet, he would ask why.

Getting the copy of my X-ray was more difficult than breaking my arm. Day 1: I went to my doctor's office to get the X-ray. They sent me down to a different office. In that office, they burned a CD of "my" X-rays. Unfortunately, they were not my X-rays. They were my dad's. Day 2: I go back to the office and ask them to get my X-rays. I had an appointment with the physical therapist down the hall, and when I came back over an hour later, I was informed that they could not actually access my X-rays after all. Day 3: I go Intermountain Hospital and wander around trying to find someone to help me. Finally I found someone in the pharmacy. She directed me to the medical records office in another building. I arrived 30 minutes after the office was closed. Day 4: I go to the medical records office where I am directed to a different office . . . in a different building. I go to the radiology office at the hospital and finally get the CD with my X-rays. Well, most of them were there. I called back, went back to the hospital and FINALLY got a CD with ALL of MY X-rays on them.

In retrospect, yeah, roller skating was not the greatest idea I've ever had. But, I was really lucky. After all, if I really had broken my arm, I'd still be in a cast . . . which would have made getting my classroom ready for school to start even more difficult than it already has been. I am, however, still willing to accept any offers for free labor! To top it off, I've just had to go to physical therapy for the past month--no surgery. You just might call the whole incident a lucky non-break!