The Smorgasborg

I've been a blogging delinquent and disappointed my loyal followers in my lack of actual blogging lately. Posting pictures just doesn't seem to be the same, or so I'm told. Although, in my defense, this time of year is always overly hectic for me. But, in an effort to return to the good graces of my blogging community, I present "The smorgasbord" or for the linguistically challenged "An often large, heterogeneous (consisting of dissimilar ingredients) mixture."

Parent Teacher Conferences
I've decided that having parent teacher conferences the week of Thanksgiving stinks. On the other hand, having the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off rocks. It's kind of a catch-22. I don't want to do conferences, but I want the comp day for having conferences! All in all, despite my dread over talking with certain parents, it wasn't nearly as painful as I expected. The pain came later . . . with the ultimate of Hover mothers. The kid isn't even in my home room class! I've blogged about Hover mothers before, but in retrospect, I had no idea what I was talking about. I thought you would become a Hover mother by attending school with your student too much. However, in both cases of Hover mothers this year, they rarely, if ever, come into school. They schedule appointments and very rudely miss them without notice. They need some lessons in couth. I haven't even met the woman, but hearing of her exploits, I was still fried about the situation. You might say I was vicariously perturbed over the audacity of this woman! What kind of mother states very loudly and adamantly in front of her child that he is not capable of the work in the lowest level reading class? I think out of all her psychotic rantings I heard (many of which were about me personally, but I was in good company withe the other 5th grade teacher, the principal, and the special ed teacher who also had staring roles in her little "Here's What's Wrong with My Child's Education" soliloquy) this was the one that bugged me the most. Seriously. The kid is bound to start believing his mother, no matter how unfounded her rantings are. And so, evolved my new theory. Ultimate psychotic hover mothers spawn intellectually challenged students. Whether the intellectual challenge is real or imagined has yet to be determined in some cases.

Pie Day
What can I say about pie day? I love pie day! It's one of my favorite traditions! Well, it's right up there with the "and it was crowded" tradition of Christmas Eve. Besides, pie day is always a crowd pleaser. Case in point. "We're having our pie day on Wednesday." (blank stares, sometimes lined with confusion.) Finally, they venture out with "what's pie day?" "The day we make pies!" (Duh!) With that amount of perplextion, imagine the look on peoples' faces when you mention casually that the record is 41 pies in one night! As I said, always a crowd pleaser!

This year was nothing short of excellent, with the aforementioned 41 pies, a Jamba Juice run to remedy a stinky day at preschool for a distraught niece, and Wii until 2:30 in the morning. The last time I did that, I ended up being wide awake for the arrival of one of the three cutest baby girls in the world!

Substitute Teachers
I always end up with the crazy ones! It's never a good sign when you receive the following e-mail the day after you had a substitute.

"Dear Teachers. I have removed so and so from our school emergency sub list due to complaints regarding her mental status. Please note that to hire this sub is done at your own risk. We do not take any responsibility for emotional breakdowns that may occur to your students in your absence if you choose to employ the aforementioned substitute teacher."

Okay, so maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but I still don't think I'll be calling Ms. so and so any more!

Ward Hopping: An Aggravating Activity
I've never really understood the appeal of ward hopping. In fact, I think it's down-right silly. I know, some people say they do it so they can "hide." But, when you go to a new ward every Sunday and have to introduce yourself every week to a new group of people, how effective is your "hiding?" I felt like I was front and center in each and every ward for the past month! I generally try to avoid this rather uncomfortable situation, but it's been a necessary evil. Due to a variety of reasons, I've been ward shopping, which leads to ward hopping, and weird ward dropping, until I find a ward that's rocking! Wish me luck!